Why Use Toys as a Couple?
Toys aren't replacements, they're enhancements that strengthen your intimate connection.
Opens Communication
Discussing and choosing toys together creates conversations about desires, boundaries, and fantasies you might not have had otherwise.
Levels the Playing Field
When arousal levels or orgasm timing don't match, toys can help ensure both partners experience pleasure without pressure.
Adds Variety
Break routines, try new sensations, and keep your intimate life exciting and exploratory.
How to Start the Conversation
Starting the conversation is often the hardest part. Here are approaches that work.
The Curious Approach
"I've been reading about couples who use toys together, and I'm curious about trying it. What do you think?"
Why it works: Non-threatening, frames it as exploration, invites their opinion.
The Enhancement Approach
"I love what we have together. I thought it might be fun to add something new to see what we discover."
Why it works: Emphasises you're happy with your current intimacy, positions toys as "bonus."
The Direct Approach
"I'd really like to try [specific toy] with you. I think it could add to our pleasure together."
Why it works: Clear, specific, focuses on mutual benefit.
The Shopping Together Approach
"Want to browse a toy website together? We could see if anything catches our eye."
Why it works: Low pressure, collaborative, allows both partners to express interest.
If They're Hesitant or Defensive
- Listen to concerns: "What worries you about it?" - understand their resistance
- Reassure: "You're amazing. This isn't about replacing you, it's about enhancing what we already have."
- Start smaller: "What if we just looked together? No pressure to buy anything."
- Give time: Plant the seed, don't push. Revisit later.
Best Toys for Couples by Experience Level
Finding the right starting point for your journey together.
For Couples New to Toys
Small Bullet Vibrator
A discreet, non-intimidating way to add vibration during intercourse.
Why it's great: Small, easy to control, one partner can hold it for external stimulation during penetration. Doesn't "get in the way."
Vibrating Cock Ring
Wearable toy that provides vibration for the receiving partner.
Why it's great: Worn by one partner, felt by both. Simple to use, enhances what you're already doing.
Remote Control Vibrator
One partner wears it, the other controls it.
Why it's great: Playful, gives control to the other partner (builds trust), can be used during or before intimacy.
For Couples Ready to Explore More
Wand Massager
Powerful external vibrations for intense clitoral stimulation.
Why it's great: One partner can use it on the other, or during penetration. Versatile for full-body massage too.
Wearable Couple's Vibrator
Designed to be worn during penetrative sex, stimulates both partners.
Why it's great: Hands-free, creates novel sensations for both, encourages synchronisation.
Stroker or Masturbator
One partner can use this on the other for unique sensations.
Why it's great: Focuses on the partner with a penis, shows toys aren't just for vulvas. Increases variety.
For Experienced Couples
App-Controlled Toys
Control via smartphone, create custom patterns, use from a distance.
Why it's great: High-tech play, perfect for long-distance, endless customisation options.
Double-Ended Toys
Designed for simultaneous use by both partners.
Why it's great: Creates unique shared experiences, synchronised pleasure, face-to-face intimacy.
Bondage Accessories
Restraints, blindfolds, and power-play accessories.
Why it's great: Explores power dynamics, heightens anticipation, requires deep trust and communication.
How to Use Toys Together: Practical Tips
Ideas and scenarios for incorporating toys into your intimate moments.
During Foreplay
- Use a vibrator to tease sensitive areas before penetration
- Take turns using toys on each other
- Use massage wand on shoulders/back before moving to erogenous zones
- Let one partner control while the other receives
During Intercourse
- Hold a bullet vibrator against the clitoris during penetration
- Use a cock ring for added stimulation
- Try wearable couples' toys designed for simultaneous use
- Experiment with positions that make toy use easier (side-by-side, etc.)
Taking Turns
- One partner uses a toy while the other watches (can be very intimate)
- Masturbate together with toys as bonding experience
- One session focused entirely on one partner's pleasure
- "Show and tell" - demonstrate what you like
Post-Play
- Use toys to help one partner finish if orgasm timing doesn't align
- Multiple orgasm exploration when one partner is ready for more
- Extended pleasure sessions without pressure
- Clean up together - it's part of the intimacy
Addressing Common Concerns
Honest answers to the worries couples often have.
"Will my partner feel replaced or inadequate?"
This is the #1 fear. Address it head-on: toys enhance, they don't replace. A vibrator can't hold you, kiss you, or connect emotionally. Frame toys as teammates, not competitors. Reassure your partner that you love what you have together - toys are just a fun addition.
"What if it's awkward or ruins the mood?"
First time with any new thing can feel awkward - that's normal! Laugh about it together. Keep expectations low for the first time. Maybe just explore the toy together without pressure to use it "successfully." Practice makes perfect, and fumbling together builds intimacy.
"I'm worried I'll become dependent on toys"
This is a myth. You can't become physically dependent on vibration. What might happen is you discover what really works for your body, which is empowering! Use toys sometimes, not always. They're tools in your intimacy toolkit, not the only tool.
"My partner has a much higher/lower sex drive than me"
Toys can actually help with libido mismatches. The partner with higher drive can use toys solo without pressure. Or, the partner with lower drive might find certain toys make intimacy more appealing because it's easier/more pleasurable. Communication is key to finding what works.
Toys for Long-Distance Relationships
Distance doesn't mean disconnection. App-controlled toys bridge the gap.
How They Work
- Connect via smartphone app (Bluetooth or internet)
- One partner wears the toy, the other controls it remotely
- Works from anywhere in the world with internet
- Video chat while using for added intimacy
Best Features to Look For
- Strong, stable connection (read reviews)
- Multiple vibration patterns
- Ability to create custom patterns
- Long battery life
- User-friendly app interface
Popular Options: Look for reputable brands with proven app technology. Read recent reviews about connection stability - this is the most common complaint with app-controlled toys.
5 Rules for Successful Couples' Toy Use
Follow these principles for a positive experience that strengthens your bond.
Communicate Before, During, and After
Discuss boundaries beforehand, check in during ("How does this feel?"), and debrief after ("What did you like?"). No assumptions.
Both Partners Get Input
Choose toys together, even if one partner will use it more. Both should feel heard and comfortable.
Start Slow and Build
Don't go from zero to full toy collection overnight. One toy, get comfortable, then add more if desired.
Keep It Fun, Not Performative
Toys are for pleasure, not pressure. If something doesn't work, laugh it off and try something else.
Make It About Both of You
Even if the toy physically touches one partner, the experience should benefit both. Take turns, share control, explore together.
Ready to Explore Together?
Browse our couples-friendly collection with options for every experience level. Start your journey to enhanced intimacy today.
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